Have you ever been to a parent teacher conference or gotten a phone call or email from your child’s teacher, camp counselor or after school teacher telling you that your child has had a bad day or done something out of character?

-he was not compliant (he refused to do the work or at least needed many asks to finish a task

-she hit or bit someone

-he was mean to a classmate

After hearing this have you ever said or thought “he/she doesn’t do this at home?
If you ever have the gumption to voice this to your child’s teacher and they give you a blank stare in return. Do not be dismayed?

The truth is your child probably does not do that at home. 

Let’s think about it: Home is a place where your child is comfortable-and the people that know and love her best- live. You know what makes her happy and what makes her sad. There are no distractions. If you ask her to do something-you probably think it’s because she didn’t hear you so you may repeat it 2, 3 or 4 more times.

The classroom can be a different setting-there are many, many more children vying for the teachers attention, there are more distractions, there are other children (who also this same set of things happening).
Now every time I write a post like this. Someone always says : “But Adrienne my child really does not do this at home. I think his teacher does not like him.” A few months ago I wrote a post about what do to if you have concerns. It’s a great post to refer back to. If your gut tells you that something is not right and you think that teacher has a grudge against your child. Then take the steps: document, ask for a conference.
But as a former classroom teacher, when I brought these things to a parents attention-I only did it to let the parent know so the behavior could be addressed.
But sometimes (many times ) your child is a different child when he is not in your care. And that is ok! We all present different sides of ourselves in different environments. It’s not a bad thing. But just keep In Mind that the home environment is probably the most safe environment a child can be. It takes them a while to learn how to navigate that outside world. So work with your child’s teacher, after school teacher or camp counselor to make them successful. You will be so glad that you did!